


the most wonderful time of the year

by hi_hello_hey_there



Series: you don't have to say i love you (to say i love you) [13]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Avoiding Ghost Shenanigans, Carlos and Reggie are Captains of the Juke Ship, Christmas Eve, F/M, Gen, Julie Has A Really Big Family, M/M, Mistletoe Mischief, New Year's Eve, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28207392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hi_hello_hey_there/pseuds/hi_hello_hey_there
Summary: Holiday mishaps and shenanigans for our girl and her boys.
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters, Alex Mercer & Nick, Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Julie Molina & Her Family, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Series: you don't have to say i love you (to say i love you) [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1942267
Comments: 20
Kudos: 98





	1. under the mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

> Julie has a crazy big extended family that will be referenced mostly by name for both of the chapters in this story, so I'm gonna leave a little reference list right here so everyone knows who's who.
> 
> Luis Molina (Ray's Older Brother) + Andrew Molina (Luis' Husband)  
> Christiana Molina (Luis and Andy's Daughter)  
> Oliver Molina (Luis and Andy's Son)  
> Sofia Molina (Luis and Andy's Daughter)
> 
> Gabriel Molina (Ray's Older Brother) + Paola Molina (Gabriel's Wife)  
> Natalia Molina (Gabe and Paola's Daughter)  
> Daniel Molina (Gabe and Paola's Son)  
> Felicia Whitman (Nat's Fiancé)  
> Dylan Molina-Whitman (Nat and Felicia's Son)
> 
> Camila Delgado (Ray's Older Sister) + Hector Delgado (Camila's Husband)  
> Mariela Delgado (Camila and Hector's Daughter)  
> Angelica Delgado (Camila and Hector's Daughter)  
> Grace Delgado (Camila and Hector's Daughter)  
> Edwin Delgado (Camila and Hector's Son)  
> Isaac Delgado (Camila and Hector's Son)  
> Jessa Diaz (Mariela's Girlfriend)  
> Weston Sanders (Angelica's Boyfriend)
> 
> Valentina Morales (Ray's Older Sister) + Jacob Morales (Val's Husband)  
> Jocelyn Morales (Val and Jake's Daughter)  
> Rafael Morales (Val and Jake's Son)  
> Leo Morales (Val and Jake's Son)  
> Emmanuel Morales (Val and Jake's Son)
> 
> Victoria Rivera-Vitali (Rose's Sister) + Damiana Rivera-Vitali (Victoria's Wife)
> 
> Bianca + Pedro Molina (Gabe, Camila, Val, Luis, and Ray's Mother and Father)
> 
> Sebastian + Alondra Rivera (Rose and Victoria's Father and Mother)
> 
> If ages would make this clearer, please let me know and I'll add them!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hope you like it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta read by: Cassie! We're both finally done with our semesters so she's back! Check her out at [findingsofafangirl](https://findingsofafangirl.tumblr.com/) and [academia-and-politics](https://academia-and-politics.tumblr.com/).

“All right, everyone. Family meeting! That means you, too, boys.” Julie takes her place at the head of the table, hands folded neatly in front of her. Reggie and Alex poof into their usual places in front of the windows, her dad taking the open chair at the other end of the table. Carlos leads Luke in from the living room, their conversation about whatever he had just been showing him fizzling out as they sit opposite the other boys.

“What’s all this about?” Alex asks, gesturing vaguely to their assembly.

Julie nods. “Right. As you know, tomorrow is Christmas Eve and our extended family is coming for dinner.” So far, they seem to be following along.

Then Luke raises his hand. “What does that mean?”

“It means that we have to lay some ground rules about ghost business.” The boys let out a low chorus of “oh”s as she continues on. “Now, there’s a lot of us.”

“A lot,” Carlos chimes in.

“And the house will be pretty full. Which means,” she looks each of the ghosts in the eye, mustering all of the intimidation in her body, “that you will have to be careful about not walking through people. It feels weird.”

Carlos shudders. “It tingles.”

Her dad snaps his fingers. “Especially because Danny’s girlfriend is blind. You’ll have to watch out for her.”

“I have a question,” Reggie says, a contemplative look on his face. “What happens if someone can see us?”

That hadn’t occurred to Julie, but her dad is quick to answer. “Well, we’re not going to kick you out on Christmas Eve. It’s a time for family and you’re still a part of ours.”

“On the off chance that someone can see you, we’ll deal with it then,” she interrupts before someone can get a case of the waterworks. “Sound good?” The boys each respond with a “yes” as Reggie and Luke surreptitiously wipe at their eyes. She gives a fond shake of her head. “Alright. We can handle this.”

~ ~ ~

Okay, so maybe Julie spoke a little too soon.

A disaster hasn’t happened yet, but the day has hardly begun. It starts with Julie’s alarm failing to go off and none of her family coming to get her. She’s startled awake by the doorbell and the sounds of rapidfire Spanish as her dad greets his father-in-law intermingled with _tía_ Victoria’s chatter about starting to cook for tonight. Julie slips her glasses on, peeking at the time when she picks up her phone. “Eleven sixteen!”

She hurries as fast as she can with her broken leg, washing her face and brushing her teeth while simultaneously trying to change. It’s somewhat of a miracle she doesn’t fall over and break the other leg as she dances out of her pajamas and tosses them into the hamper in her bathroom. She combs her hair and clips it back on both sides so it’s out of the way for the day. Taking a quick survey of her closet, she decides on a plain midnight blue, knee-length dress with flutter sleeves so she doesn’t have to wrestle pants over her cast. She pairs it with a thick brown leather belt, her go-to necklaces, and a pair of dahlia earrings she had found among her mother’s things.

She pauses for a moment, hand resting over her medallion. A gift from her parents when she made her first communion as a child, the medallion has always rested close to her heart, though it used to be closer to her belly button when she was younger. It depicts Mary, the mother of God, and it never fails to remind Julie of her own mom. It’s still hard doing things without her, she thinks it might always be hard, but with things like this necklace or her mother’s clothing, it makes it easier. “ _Feliz nochebuena, mama_.”

She grabs her crutches and makes her way down to the steps. She’s about halfway down when _tía_ ’s wife, Mimi, catches sight of her. “Hi, Julie! Here, let me help you.” She meets Julie where she is, taking the extra crutch and walking backwards to guide her down the stairs. Once she’s securely at the bottom, she gets her crutch back and holds them securely under her arms to give her a hug. “How are you?”

“I’m pretty good, _zia_. How are you?” She shuffles over to the couch where her grandfather is sitting and gives him a kiss on the cheek while she answers.

“Not too bad myself. Excited for the holidays.”

Then _tía_ ’s voice sounds through the house. “Damiana, _mi querida_ , where are you?”

“In here, _cara mia_!” They’re so grossly in love that it makes Julie smile.

“Come and help me with the _pastelles_. If I have to hear Paola complain about them this year, I think I may finally lose my mind. Hi, hon.” That last part is directed at Julie.

“Hi, _tía_.”

 _Zia_ Mimi stands, brushing invisible dust off her clothes and sighing fondly. “Better go help before disaster strikes.”

Julie laughs as she goes, waiting for more people to show up since she can’t really help in the kitchen. Just as she’s settling in, Luke pops into the living room beside her, making her jump a little even though they’ve been doing it for months now. “What’s up? Where are the others?”

He yawns, stretching his arms up behind him before answering. “We were taking a nap.” The words have a tinge of disbelief to them.

“Like asleep?”

“Right?” He shakes his head. “I couldn’t quite believe it, but we all felt tired this morning. It’s strange.”

“I’ll say.” Julie can’t quite believe it either, but she’d be blind if she didn’t notice the boys bumping into stuff more or the few times she’d catch one of them shivering or one of the million other things they did that hinted at the fact that they could feel things again. The implications send her spiraling for a moment. Is the reason they didn’t pass over because of her? Are they stuck in limbo between here and not here now? Will they-

“ _¿Con quién estás hablando?_ ” her grandfather asks, pulling her out of her head.

“I’m not talking to anybody, _tito_. Don’t worry about it.” The other two boys poof into the room just as the doorbell rings. She lowers her voice when she says, “Stick by me for introductions.” Hoisting herself from the couch to answer the door, the boys follow behind her ready to learn names and faces.

She pulls the door open and is greeted by an armful of little boy. She hugs back and ruffles his hair. “Hey, Isaac! How are you buddy?”

“Good. Where’s Carlos?” Julie jerks her thumb towards the kitchen and he’s off like a shot.

“ _Dios mío_ , that boy,” his mother says, wrapping Julie in a hug as well. “Hi, _mija_.”

“ _Tía_ Camila, _tío_ Gabe. It’s nice to see you.” Her uncle follows in behind his wife, giving her a pat on the shoulder. “Hey, Eddie.”

“Don’t call me that,” her cousin says goodnaturedly. “I go by Edwin now.”

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten when you used to make us call you Eddie because you hated your name.” Julie gives a light punch to his shoulders.

“Ed, _apúrate_. I’m struggling here,” his sister calls out from the back of the pack.

Three identical girls enter after him, all of them carrying stacks of gifts or food pans, followed by a red-headed girl and a very tall man. “Mariela, you’re so impatient,” Julie teases her.

“That would be Gracie,” Mariela responds quickly, rushing to set her pile of presents down in the living room.

Gracie gives an indignant huff. “Liar.”

The last of the triplets gives Julie a one-armed hug, saying, “That just proves my theory that I’m the best sister.”

“Right you are, Angie,” the man replies, arms wrapping around her waist and planting a kiss on her check.

“Okay, West,” the redhead says. “I know I’m a little biased, but I’m gonna say Mari’s the best.”

Mariela blushes from her neck up, the tips of her ears burning red. “Babe,” she lets out.

“What?” She turns to Julie and offers a fist bump. “Nice to see you again.”

Julie returns it. “Nice seeing you, too, Jessa.”

They all disperse to make their rounds of greeting. The house is louder than before but nowhere near how loud it will be when everyone’s here. She says as much to the boys. “I’m already overwhelmed,” is all that Reggie says. It makes her laugh, especially when their eyes widen simultaneously after the bell rings again.

After she ushers her _tío_ Luis, uncle Andy, and their kids Chrissy, Oli, and Sofia inside, making inconspicuous introductions all the while. She sits at the dining room table since it’s closer to the door than her previous spot on the couch. She notices that Alex has his thinking face on. “What’s up?” She bumps her good leg against one of his.

“You have,” he pauses like he’s trying to figure out how to word it, “a lot of LGBT family.”

“That’s not even the half of it. Wait until you meet my cousin Nat and her fiance,” Julie jokes, a pleasantly surprised smile overtaking his face.

There’s a close call when her _tía_ Val and _tío_ Jake show up that puts her and the boys on edge. Their oldest two children, Jocelyn and Rafael, hardly give Julie the time of day when they enter the house, but the younger two, twins Leo and Emmanuel, look past her, directly at the band. Reggie sucks in a sharp breath but says nothing. Before long, the twins are off and the four of them let out a collective sigh. “Wow,” Reggie lets out. “I don’t know why I was so scared.”

“It’s not like anyone will believe them if they say anything,” Julie reassures. “They’re seven.”

Last of the family to show up are _tío_ Gabe and _tía_ Paola. They both help Julie’s grandmother into the house, _tía_ Paola giving a quick hello before rushing to the kitchen to help cook. “ _Hola, abuelita_ ,” she greets, stooping to give her grandma a hug. “ _¿Cómo está?_ ”

“ _I’m still alive_ ,” she replies in Spanish, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. Her cousin Danny gives a wave as he passes with his girlfriend, Qiu, guiding her through the house and warning her of what’s in front of her as she navigates without her cane in such tight spaces. _Tío_ Gabe presses a kiss to her hair before escorting their grandmother into the living room to chat with her _tito_ , the two ironically having been old friends since they lived in the same town in San Juan.

“Hey, _prima_!” Nat yells as she enters. Oldest and loudest of the bunch, not even a kid of her own could tame her.

“Let me see the rock,” Julie replies after worming her way out of her cousin’s bone-crushing hug. Nat brandishes her hand where a glimmering engagement ring sits, flashing blindingly in the light. “It’s beautiful. Congratulations.”

“Natalia Molina, if you don’t help me with our son, I swear to God,” a voice echoes from the driveway.

“Coming, coming!” She rushes back out to help her fiance pull a little boy out of the car and carry him inside. Nat grabs the diaper bag while the other two come inside.

“Hi, Felicia!” She sets down the baby carrier, the boys immediately going to inspect its inhabitant. Julie shakes her head but offers her soon-to-be cousin-in-law a hug. “How are you?”

“Barely functioning,” she lets out. “Between the little monster and the hormone therapy, my body is just about ready to quit.” Julie raises her eyebrow, her sign for Felicia to continue. “But I’m really happy.”

“Well, I’m glad then. Now, let me hold my little _sobrino_ ,” she says, taking a seat and making grabby hands.

“Come on, little man,” Felicia says laughingly, bending to scoop him out of the car seat and delicately handing him off to Julie.

She lets him grip her finger and crinkles her nose at him. Then Luke approaches slowly, watching to see if the baby does anything. When his eyes follow Luke’s hand as he goes to gently rub his cheek, an incredulous smile sprouts on his face. “What’s his name?”

“Dylan,” Julie responds, rocking him back and forth in her arms.

“If only I had a camera,” Alex says as Reggie rounds the end of the table to tickle Dylan and coo at him.

It’s only been an hour since guests started to arrive, but a delicious smell permeates the whole house. She sees her _tíos_ helping her dad outside at the grill where they talk and drink and work on their modified _lechón_ recipe. In the kitchen, her uncle Andy stirs together _coquito_ for later, having earned the annual job after proving himself to be the best at it despite having zero prior experience. The _tías_ and _zia_ Mimi are all folding _pasteles_ or making _arroz con gandules_ at the stove.

Grace and Chrissy come to join her at the table and they all chat, Qiu and Danny sitting down not long after. The hot topic so far has been her band, where they are, what they’re doing, when they’ll perform again. It really fans the flames of the boys’ egos and Julie would like nothing more than to be able to turn around smack them. Eventually, Nat comes back for her baby so everyone can say hello and comment on how big he’s gotten.

Not more than an hour and a half later, her father is shouting, “Dinner’s ready!”

Outside, tables have been put up to accommodate the more than thirty people here. Julie pushes herself out of her chair and hops to grab her crutches before making her way outside, the boys trailing behind her. All the food is laid out, mouthwatering in that Julie had not eaten anything all day and she is starving. She takes her seat between Jocelyn and _tía_ Victoria, shoving her crutches beneath her feet under the table.

Before anyone can dig in, _tito_ says, “ _Oremos_ .” Simultaneously, everyone holds out their hands, grabbing their neighbors’ and bowing their heads. _Tito_ leads a prayer about how thankful they all are for their food, getting to spend time with one another, for those less fortunate, and for all their family members who have passed on. “ _Amén_.”

Everyone choruses back, “ _Amén_ ,” before crossing themselves and reaching for the nearest food dish. In no time at all, everyone’s dish is filled with the evening’s main course. They all chatter, talking over one another to be heard in their own conversation. Julie catches Reggie more than once looking forlornly at the food in the middle of the table and resolves that they can practice eating something after the holidays, a fleeting thought of the boys’ here-and-not state penetrating through her Christmas haze. Even with the boys milling around and making commentary on conversations they technically aren’t a part of, Carlos and her dad do a remarkable job of ignoring them; she has to give them props.

Julie also notices that West looks a little green around the gills, only pushing his peas around his plate and taking small sips of his wine now and again. Even after everyone is mostly done, he still has food in front of him. She waits until he looks her way before raising an eyebrow in silent question: _you okay?_

He nods but his face says otherwise, so she sends him an even sharper facial expression that she hopes conveys that she’ll keep her mouth shut. He rolls his eyes, but he starts to relax as a tight smile twists the corners of his mouth up. Looking to his left to make sure Angelica isn’t looking at him, he discreetly signals with his hands like he’s opening a box. Julie also makes sure no one is paying attention to their wordless conversation before she holds up her left hand and shakes her ring finger. When he nods, a jubilant smile forces its way onto her face. She mouths “When?” at him and when he mouths “Now?” back, she can’t help the excited nod. He lets out a long, slow breath and she shoots him two thumbs up.

West stands, drawing the attention of everyone there. “I have something I’d like to say.” Clearing his throat, he reaches a hand out for his girlfriend, giving Julie the time to surreptitiously pull out her phone and press record. “Angie, we’ve been together since high school. You’ve seen me at my worst and stayed. We’ve grown and learned and overcome hardship together for the past six years and I want to keep doing that with you.” He kneels down and pulls a blue velvet ring box out of his pocket. Angelica’s hands go to her mouth, eyes shining with tears, the older cousins and adults making sounds of awe. “I love you so much. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

Angelica’s nodding before she can speak, but she eventually says, “Yes, yes. I will, West. Yes!” She pitches herself forward into his arms, happy sobs wracking her tiny frame. West plants a kiss on her cheek before she pulls back. He takes the ring out of the box and slides it onto her finger. She studies it only for a moment before hugging her boyfriend- fiance- once more. He stands and spins her around and Julie sees Alex trying to discreetly wipe tears off of his face from the corner of her eye. She cuts off the recording and joins in the clapping. The boys are good sports about it and clap too even if nobody can see them.

After the excitement dies down a bit, the adults start clearing the table, recruiting their older children to help them. Julie is exempt, of course, since standing for long periods of time still makes her tired. Felicia gives her back Dylan and asks her to feed him while she helps the others pack away leftovers and wash what can’t go in the dishwasher. Luke does an excellent job of distracting the baby while Julie gets him to work on his bottle, throwing a cloth over her shoulder before she burps him after.

Not too much later, everyone is back in their seats, _tío_ Hector scooping up Dylan from her arms, taking the cloth and the bottle, and heads back to his own seat. _Tía_ Paola is handing out cups of _coquito_ to whoever wants some. Carlos, however, is pulling the rolling whiteboard from their dad’s office onto the halfway landing of the steps down to where they’re sitting. “Who’s ready for Uno?” he asks. A cheer goes up around the table as Carlos starts to section off the whiteboard like a tournament bracket.

“Uh, what’s going on?” Reggie asks, confusion clear on his face.

Julie tries to be cautious as she answers so no one asks who she’s talking to. “Every year on Christmas Eve, my family has an Uno tournament. The winner gets the first serving of _tembleque_ and is allowed to open one of their presents early. I’m never any good at it but it’s still fun.”

“Guess we’ll have to be your good luck charms,” Luke teases. Alex beats her to the punch (literally) and punches him playfully on the shoulder. Luke lets out a light “Ow” and Alex looks satisfied. For once, it’s Reggie shaking his head at the other two from the background and Julie snorts.

“Rules are the same,” _tío_ Jake says. “People twelve and older may play but there is a dollar buy in and absolutely no teams.”

“Oh,” Julie adds. “The winner also takes home the buy in pot. It’s usually only thirty dollars or so, but that’s still nice pocket money.”

“I just want everyone to know this has been completely randomized and is in no way me trying to cheat in my first year,” Carlos says, capping the dry erase marker in his hands before joining the rest of them at the table and placing his dollar in the collection bin.

“I want to play!” Leo whines, pouting up at his father and crossing his arms, looking on the verge of a meltdown.

 _Tío_ Jake picks him up and places him on his lap. “You can help me hold my cards. How about that, buddy?” Leo looks a little less unhappy and readily grabs the cards that are being dealt for his dad. “Soon you’ll be playing on your own,” _tío_ Jake promises, ruffling his son’s hair.

Julie studies the bracket, seeing that she’ll be going up against Gracie in the second half of the first round. For now, she holds Emmanuel on her lap while she spectates uncle Andy and _tío_ Hector’s game. The first seven pairs will play at the same time and then the second seven so everyone plays fair and no cheating occurs. Further down the line, she sees her father and _tío_ Luis putting cards down faster than she can count and teasing each other playfully in Spanish, the brothers’ years of experience making them some of the best players. She can also hear West announce what he’s putting down so Qiu knows what she can play. Qiu had quickly fallen in love with the concept of the family’s Uno tourney and has brought along special braille cards since her second Christmas with Danny. Julie refocuses on the game she’s supposed to be reffing with Oli.

Soon, the first three hands are over, Felicia, _tío_ Hector, Sofia, _abuelita_ , her dad, Danny, and West winning two out of three against _tía_ Victoria, uncle Andy, _tía_ Paola, Edwin, _tío_ Luis, _tío_ Jake, and Qiu respectively. Ushering Emmanuel off her lap, she takes her place at the table and waits for Gracie to join her.

Julie sticks her hand out after Gracie sits down. “May the best _prima_ win,” she says teasingly.

Gracie claps her hand into Julie’s and shakes it firmly once. “Oh, you’re on!”

Her father joins them, Rafael trailing behind so he can watch and learn for when he can play next Christmas Eve. Once her _abuelita_ sits down, Julie makes quick work of losing the first hand spectacularly. They’re hardly even playing for ten minutes before Gracie calls Uno and puts her last card down.

“Don’t take it too hard. You are playing last year’s champ after all.” Gracie leans back in her chair while Julie shuffles and deals the next hand, her arms behind her head. While that is true, Gracie only won last year by being a margin ahead of Qiu and _tío_ Jake in the final round.

“You can do it, Jules!” Reggie whispers encouragingly from behind Gracie, Alex and Luke cheering her on silently. She holds in her snort and shoots a look at her dad who’s rolling his eyes fondly at the boys’ antics but showing no other signs of acknowledgement.

The next hand takes a little longer and Julie thinks it might be all over for her. Not that she would be that surprised since she never makes it past the qualifying round. She pulls ahead, though, and holds on to her lead until she’s putting down her last card. “Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week,” she says, bowing from the waist and accepting the high five her dad offers her.

“Don’t get too cocky, Molina. There’s still one hand to go.” Gracie cracks her knuckles and gets to work shuffling the hell out of their deck.

“I’d worry about your own hand, Delgado,” Julie shoots back, sending her cousin a sly wink. If there’s one thing she’s learned from this whole experience, it’s that her family has a serious competitive streak, but that everything should be taken with a grain of salt. Come tomorrow morning, nobody will remember any of the quips or trash talking done tonight, only the good times.

Once Julie has her cards, she organizes them and begins to play like she never has before. By some twist of fate, she’s calling Uno not twenty minutes later. It’s almost like someone’s smiling down on her because the last card she’s holding is a wild card and unless Gracie has some fancy move planned out for her, she’s going to win. Gracie puts down her card, changing the blue they had been playing to green with a satisfied smirk. Julie decides to ham it up a little, making a show of knitting her eyebrows together, pursing her lips, and pretending to reach for another card. Just as she sees her cousin’s eyes light up, she puts down her card. “Boom!”

Gracie’s face sours, but she doesn’t toss her cards like Julie half expects her to. “Good game, Julietta, good game.”

“Julietta,” she hears Luke mumble, a strange quality to his voice, as they stand to stretch their legs. She takes only one crutch and turns away so no one sees her face burn up.

Everyone else has finished except for Carlos and _tío_ Gabe. Carlos seems to be holding his own pretty well even though he looks concerned. He’s a decent card player, but it’s his first time playing the tournament and he’s in over his head, Julie can tell. It’s not much longer before _tío_ Gabe goes out, Carlos sighing dramatically but taking the loss well, and the two of them shaking hands. It’s getting dark by the time they finish, so someone flicks on the porch lights and the Christmas lights turn on themselves once their timer goes off.

The next round will be quicker. Once the qualifiers are done, the next few rounds are only one hand each. They’ll play until they’re down to four or less players for the finals. This year, though, since it narrows down to an odd number, they’ll play one round of semifinals before heading directly to the last round, seven players big. Julie’s up against _zia_ Mimi for her semifinal round. 

“Good luck, _topolina_ ,” she offers with a wink before they begin. Julie’s kind of amazed that she’s already made it so far, especially given that last year she didn’t play at all and that she doesn’t have a strategy. She just plays to have fun, cracking jokes with _zia_ Mimi all the while. It really shocks the life out of her when she wins, _tía_ Victoria giving both of them hugs and kisses on the cheeks when it’s over.

“It’s okay, _mi querida_ ,” she tells her wife, pressing another kiss to her temple. “I still love you.” _zia_ Mimi scoffs, eyes going skyward while Julie laughs.

Carlos keeps track of the winners on the whiteboard, so by the time everyone is done, they have their finale players. “Julie, Jessa, Mariela, _papí_ , _tío_ Hector, _tía_ Camila, and _abuelita_ will be going head to head to head to head to head to head to head for the first serving of _tembleque_ , an early Christmas present, and thirty-five dollars,” he announces. A cheer goes up amongst those who are not spoilsports. Even though he didn’t play, _tito_ probably put in money and he and _abuelita_ probably put in more than they should have, which is nice of them but completely unnecessary. “Everyone, to the table.”

The finals will also be one round, but how long it will last is anyone’s guess. Out of the corner of her eye, Julie notices the boys hanging out with Carlos on the steps, trying to chat inconspicuously with him so the relatives who’ve chosen to spectate from there don’t get suspicious of Carlos talking to nobody. Shaking her head to rid thoughts of spirit musicians from her mind, she refocuses as the game comes up on her turn. She places one of her reverse cards down, sending up a protest from most of the others.

“Really, Julie?” Mariela asks exasperatedly, rearranging the cards in her hand. She catches her dad’s eyes as she laughs at the outrage. He points at her and then at the table, the message clear: _you’re going down_. She just sticks her tongue out at him in a very mature and dignified manner. She hears Alex’s snort all the way from where she’s seated and she has to repress a laugh of her own.

The game starts to dwindle, the sun having fully set now, and everyone is antsy, ready for it to be over. When Jessa, her dad, and _tía_ Camila call, “Uno!” in the same turn, it’s a mad dash to make hasty alliances to get them to have more cards or skip them entirely. They end up failing, though, as Jessa is the first to go out.

Mariela stands from her spot, coming to hug her girlfriend, scooping her out of her chair and spinning her around. “My girlfriend won!” she chants, making Jessa blush crimson, trying to quiet Mariela. They clean up the cards and head inside, Jessa still in Mariela’s death grip and seeming to just go with it and Carlos pushing the whiteboard into the house after them.

Jessa receives the first portion of _tembleque_ and picks a gift from under the tree, everyone crowding into the living room momentarily to see what it is. “From the Moraleses,” she reads off the gift tag. Inside the pristinely wrapped box are new blanks for her polaroid camera. “Keep taking beautiful pictures. Love, _tía_ Valentina, _tío_ Jake, Jocelyn, Raf, Leo, and Emmanuel.” She looks up with a bright smile on her face. “Thank you, guys.” The twins rush in to give her a hug and she fumbles to put down her gift and her food before she drops either.

Everyone disperses, then, to do their own things. Most people grab something sweet to eat and Julie makes herself a cup of cocoa, swirling in a splash of cinnamon. She takes a sip and studies everyone. Reggie and Alex seem to have a place amongst the younger cousins as Carlos starts up their Wii and hands out Mario Kart wheels to Sofia, Isaac, and Raf. Some of the older cousins take a seat with the adults in the dining room, talking about school or their plans and other things Julie doesn’t want to think about just yet. Outside on the front porch, she sees _tito_ and _abuelita_ catching up as _abuelita_ lives in Pittsburgh with _tío_ Gabe and _tía_ Paola.

“Psst,” someone whispers. Julie whips her head around to see Luke peeking his head around the doorway. He nods his head, signaling her to join him in the hallway. He also seems to have been people watching when she finally reaches him. “What are they talking about?” He gestures to her grandparents outside.

A fond grin quirks up the corner of her mouth. “Anything and everything. They were neighbors back in Puerto Rico before _tito_ Sebastian moved here. It was all a stroke of luck when my parents got married and he and _abuelita_ Bianca remet.” She pauses and notices their conversation has turned somber. “They’re probably talking about _tita_ Alondra and _abuelito_ Pedro, now. They were all really good friends.”

“That’s sweet,” Luke says, offering her a tight-lipped smile. “Anyway, that’s not why I called you over here.” Julie raises an eyebrow in question and he continues. “I know you didn’t win,” he jokes, “but I have something for you. I figured you wouldn’t want to open it with your family around, but I didn’t want to wait until after Christmas.”

“You didn’t have to-” she starts, but is abruptly cut off by Luke waving his hand.

“But I wanted to. Here.” He thrusts a tiny box towards her, the wrapping a little messy but she can tell he did it himself. She can’t help the stupid smile that comes over her face. **“I hope you like it.”**

She begins to tear the paper off, saying, “Thank you. I can already tell I’m gonna-” and she cuts herself off this time. Inside the box, nestled in a small pile of purple tissue paper, is a friendship bracelet. It’s strands of red and blue and pink braided together with the words ‘stand tall’ spelled out in beads. Of course he would commemorate the night they finally came together and overcame all the hardships they’d faced. It’s so incredibly Luke of him that she finds herself getting choked up.

“Flynn’s been teaching me how to add the letters, but I figured it’s time you got one. I’ve made one for each of the boys and you mean so much to me, to us.” Luke’s fidgeting but Julie can hardly tell as tears blur her vision. She delicately lifts it out of the box and turns it over in her hands, memorizing every bit of it. “Do you like it?”

She has to clear her throat before she can answer. “I love it, Luke. Thank you.” He reaches out and takes it from her, pulling her hand up so he can tie it around her wrist. “Thank you,” she says again, throwing her arms around him in a hug, nearly dropping her crutch in the process.

“Dudes,” Reggie’s voice interrupts. When she pulls back, Julie sees a mysteriously devious smile on his face, Alex’s too. “Look at where you’re standing.” He points up and Julie’s eyes follow until she’s tilted her head all the way back. There, amongst the support beams and hung in such a way that it’s completely hidden from passersby until it’s pointed out, is a sprig of mistletoe.

“Carlos,” she grits out before realizing exactly what this means. She tries to combat the flush creeping up the back of her neck as she looks back to Luke. “We don’t have to… you know.”

“Uh, yes you do,” Alex interrupts, the traitor. She sends him what she hopes is a murderous look before shyly facing Luke.

“Only if you want to,” he whispers, leaning in so the other two can’t hear him. She thinks she nods, but really she can’t feel anything at this point. “I need to hear you say it.”

“Okay,” she whispers back. Everything is in slow motion as he closes the gap between them, hand coming up to cup her left cheek. He turns her face and places a gentle kiss on her right cheek that lasts for what feels like hours. She never felt cold around the boys like she knows other people do, but an involuntary shiver runs down her spine and her stomach erupts with butterflies, as cliche as it is. Maybe the movies were right after all. It must only be seconds later when Luke pulls away and Julie misses him already. He swipes a finger over her cheekbone before stepping back and sending her a crooked smile before joining the boys in watching Carlos’s Mario Kart games.

Her hand goes to her cheek of its own accord, fingertips resting feather light over where Luke’s lips were only moments ago. She takes a deep breath in, fighting for her composure back so she can join her family at the dining room table. Hopefully, she can ignore the butterflies still running rampant inside of her, making her feel so weightless she might just float away, until she can sort out her doozy of a love life at a more convenient time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter title comes from the absolute banger that is [Mistletoe](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUjn3RpkcKY) by Justin Bieber.
> 
> Since Madison is Puerto Rican, I made Julie's family Puerto Rican as well. I'm not Puerto Rican so if you are and see any mistakes, please, please, please let me know. I did my best to research (Italians also put more emphasis on Christmas Eve than Christmas day, so I get that part) but I know it's not the same as hearing it first hand from someone who regularly takes part in this culture. Also, kudos to anyone who had some ideas about the mistletoe because it did come back for a little significance! I really think you're going to like the next chapter, especially you Willex stans (wink wink nudge nudge). I'd also like to take the time to wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, a blessed Yule (even though I know that's been going on all month - sorry I'm a little late!), and joyous other winter holidays you may celebrate. As always, requests are open from [this list](https://p0ck3tf0x.tumblr.com/post/98502010026/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you) except for 7, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 19, 21, 26, 31, 33, 37, 38, 39, 41, 44, 48, 49, 50, 53, 57, 62, 63, 64, 65, 67, 70, 82, 83, 86, 91, 98, and 99. You can drop a comment here or message me on tumblr. Thanks for reading, lovelies!
> 
> main: [hi-hello-hey-there](https://hi-hello-hey-there.tumblr.com/)  
> side: [toziers-token](https://toziers-token.tumblr.com/)
> 
> love, blue


	2. countdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Can I kiss you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE: Still un-beta'd but I've looked over it and everything will be properly linked in the end notes.

Loud parties have never really been Alex’s scene. Even when he and the boys were in the midst of their climb to hopeful stardom, he skipped as many parties as he could get away with. Between all the people and the copious amount of alcohol and the absolutely mind numbing music, his anxiety wouldn’t allow him to enjoy any of it.

Luke could fit in anywhere with anyone at any time; his never ending energy and his self-proclaimed chemistry with everyone allowed him to forget his troubles and let loose all the time. And Reggie? The Labrador retriever in human form? Once he got swept up in a party there was no getting him back until the wee hours of the morning. Even Bobby could have fun at parties, though how he did so with the stick up his ass towards the end is beyond Alex. He would rather subject himself to ten straight years of his AP chemistry class than attend another quote rager unquote.

So when Flynn shows up at Molinas’ at nine-thirty sharp on New Year’s Eve driving her family’s van instead of her Jeep, his heart rate spikes automatically. He’s not stupid; he can put together the pieces, especially when Julie and four of her cousins stand and grab jackets while Carlos answers the door.

“Hey, hey!” Flynn greets, waving at the extended family assembled all over the place. “We ready to go?”

Oli pulls the hood out from inside his jacket as he answers, “Yeah, if Chrissy would hurry up!” The last part is directed up the stairs where his sister had disappeared to grab a change of shoes.

“ _Cállate_ , Oliver Alejandro,” she answers, skipping steps on the way down and zipping up her knee-high boots as she goes.

“Remember,” Julie’s dad says, turning around in his chair at the dining room table. “Back by one AM, keep an eye on each other, and no drinking.”

“This is Carrie we’re talking about, _papí_ ,” she says, finishing up the buttons on her jacket and dropping a kiss on his forehead, then her _tito_ and _abuelita’s_. “She’ll want everyone as lucid as possible to remember Dirty Candy’s performance.”

It makes him laugh a little but the easy banter does almost nothing to untangle the growing knot in Alex’s stomach. Ray catches his eye and widens his smile. Maybe that helps. “Just be careful.”

“We will,” Gracie says, slinging Edwin around the shoulders. “I’ll keep the rugrats in line.”

“You are a year older than me,” Chrissy protests, leading the way outside.

Gracie tuts, with her arm still around her brother and dragging him out after her. “A year and two months, Christiana.” Oli follows them, Julie and Flynn bringing up the rear. Flynn discreetly tilts her head out the door and Alex realizes she’s addressing him and the boys.

This is when he’d usually make up a lackluster excuse and run for the hills, but Luke and Reggie are already there, preventing him from backing up and poofing out. “It’s just a party, bro. No alcohol, no groupies. Just the people who always wear those cat suits.” Luke takes a moment in his pep talk to shudder. “It’s not like anyone besides the girls can see you anyway.”

“Yeah,” Reggie adds on. “It could be fun. We haven’t been out in so long!”

Alex weighs his options. He could stay here, enjoy the company of the adults and try desperately to keep up with their Spanish, his high school classes doing dick all to prepare him for actual conversations, but enjoying listening to them speak nonetheless. This option comes with endless teasing from the boys, comments about how he’s a homebody who’d rather read a book than dance in a group of people he doesn’t know. It’s not so much the dancing that gets him, it’s definitely the people.

Or he could let the boys drag him to Carrie’s house. He could be a fly on the wall and watch other people having fun with each other and get caught up in all the drama that seems to follow high school students like a cloud. He could have the party experience with none of the emotional trauma. When he sighs, he knows he’s been defeated. “Fine.” Luke and Reggie high five behind his head, already pushing him outside. “But if someone walks through me, I’m leaving.”

And now he’s seated in the third row of Flynn’s family van, wondering why this is still affecting him so much even though he’s dead. Try as he might, the bouncing of his leg doesn’t stop the whole way to Carrie’s party. He almost wants to just poof back and deal with the relentless ragging and he’s completely prepared to justify his choice by saying he doesn’t want to reenter Bobby's -Trevor’s- house again, but he knows that won’t fly.

It’s too late, anyway, as Flynn pulls through the gate and up to the house. The party seems to be in full swing despite the sun having fully disappeared only a few hours ago. “Let’s get this party started!” Gracie calls, ushering Danny out of the seat so she can climb out. Alex looks ahead to the house, the greens and blues of DJ lights flashing through the windows at random. Luke and Reggie poof out, reappearing a little ways up the walkway. Once they notice he’s not with them, they start gesturing at him to follow. Against his better judgement, he takes a deep breath and joins them.

“Don’t worry, buddy,” Luke says, slinging an arm around his shoulders and guiding him to the front door. “There’s only three people here who can see us anyways.” The reminder does little tamper his nerves, but he supposes Luke is right. It’s not like Julie or Flynn or Nick are going to suddenly point out what he’s doing. And nobody’s going to make him join in if he doesn’t want to. The thought finally makes his breath a bit more even.

“Okay,” Alex says and Reggie smiles, clapping him once on the shoulder before disappearing into the house after the girls, Oli, and Edwin. Luke follows closely thereafter, leaving Alex to collect himself before heading inside as well.

Everything about it reminds him of all the times he so desperately tried to get away from Hollywood parties, but this is different and he tries to force himself to see those differences. Nobody is staring at him, nobody is forcing themselves on him, the people are all underage, and the most scandalous thing that seems to be happening is the giggly couples pairing off by themselves into the darkened corners of the house. The vice grip on his lungs diminishes and he goes to find a nice piece of wall to hold up.

The night ticks by slowly and Alex finds himself wishing for a drink. He isn’t thirsty exactly and maybe it has more to do with the fact he can’t seem to keep his hands busy for the life of him than anything else, but he certainly misses the weight of a half empty plastic cup in his hands.

There’s something bass-heavy and contagious playing over the speakers and he figures either Dirty Candy has played already or they haven’t yet. He has no problem admitting he wishes it’s the latter. Occasionally, he catches sight of Julie or Flynn or one of the cousins dancing and singing and jumping around, clearly having fun. There’s a part of his brain that tells him to get out there, enjoy himself for once. He’s never had a problem with dancing when he felt the safety of his friends, but being amongst big crowds? Not his jam.

Luke seems to be fitting right in, bouncing from group to group and dancing his heart out even if those groups can’t see him. The sight brings a tiny smile to Alex’s face, especially so when he notices Reggie across the room staring longingly at a bowl of chips before returning to Luke’s side. Before long the smile falls from his face and he’s back to his usual introspection. Heaving a sigh, he heads for the side porch doors, phasing through and taking in a deep, heady breath of chill December air, the shuddering sound it makes on the way out just a tad concerning.

Normally, he could force himself to dance for a little while with the boys, but he hasn’t really felt himself lately. Alex leans against the rail and takes in the view, the moon mostly full and shining brightly back at him. He tries not to think about it, tries to put on a cheery mask when he’s around the others, but he knows when he stopped feeling… right.

“Penny for your thoughts?” a voice calls from the other side of the porch, nearly scaring the daylights out of him and making his hand automatically rest where his racing heart should’ve been. If he concentrates, he can almost feel the thudding against his fingertips. He strains his eyes and sees Nick sitting in his wheelchair, similarly watching the night sky. His face is slightly amused. “You sound distressed.”

Alex delicately picks his way over, careful not to walk through deck furniture and taking a seat beside Nick. “Something like that.” Finding out that Nick could see him, all of them, after his possession had been something of a double edged sword. Alex was and is happy that Nick gets an explanation of sorts as to what happened to him. The kid’s been through so much, experienced things that nobody ever should, and Alex is glad to have some wisdom, no matter how limited, to help him work through it. But knowing that Nick could see them and Willie _couldn’t_ feels like a slap in the face. The sudden thought of the boy makes his face go sour, Alex can feel it, so he makes himself change the subject. “How are you doing?”

Nick lets out a semi-bitter chuckle. He pats the arm rests of the wheelchair, saying, “Dad and Poppa wouldn’t let me use my crutches today. Some days are better than others, but today wasn’t so hot so I get it.” He pauses. “They hardly let me out of their sight these days, so I do what I can to ease their minds.”

“That’s good of you,” Alex manages, chest still feeling constricted. He takes another deep breath and hopes that he doesn’t start crying again. Nick doesn’t deserve that.

“Are you going to tell me what’s making you so upset or do I have to play twenty questions?” Nick is teasing him, the smirk on his face evidence enough. It makes Alex chuckle and the burning sensation behind his eyes starts to alleviate.

He considers not telling Nick- why does he need to know? But there’s something about the horribly devastating feeling, desperately trying to claw its way out of his chest set to the backdrop of some distant, upbeat pop song he’s never heard and the cold he definitely shouldn’t be able to sense on his skin that throws him off just enough and makes him want to spill everything.

He limits himself to, “There’s this… friend of mine that I haven’t seen in a while.” A pause in which Alex attempts to find the right words to say. “And I miss him. A lot.” There’s silence between the two of them and he can feel Nick studying him.

“This is the boy that was with you all at the Orpheum?” he finally asks. Alex can only nod, not trusting his throat to not suddenly close up and cut him off. Nick hums his understanding, looking away from Alex and again towards the night sky. “And you haven’t gone to visit him since that night?”

A loaded question, that is. “I’ve-” Alex pauses again so he can figure out what he wants to say. “I’ve only seen him once since then when he was still in the hospital. I was there the day they discharged him. The problem is he can’t see me.” The rest just comes spilling out of him. “And it hurts. God, it hurts _so bad_. At first, I thought he might be able to, but since he technically wasn’t a ghost, not like how I am at least, he can’t. Every time I tell myself it wouldn’t be a bad thing to try, to go and check up on him for my own benefit, I can never bring myself to actually go through with it. When I see him and he can’t look me in the eye, it feels like there’s this huge, gaping hole in my chest that I have no idea how to deal with and I’ll just bleed out slowly until I’m gone.”

He didn’t even realize he started shaking until Nick places a firm hand on his arm, the sudden sensation stopping him in his tracks. He can sort of feel the breeze chilling the tears that are cascading down his face when he looks up at the younger boy. “Alex, maybe you should go. To see him, I mean.” There must be a hesitant look on his face because Nick continues: “You’re clearly torn up about it and seeing how he’s doing might make you feel better. Or it might make you feel worse but at least you can make that judgement for yourself.”

It’s honestly refreshing hearing that. He knows that Julie and Flynn and the guys wouldn’t judge him for being sad, of course he knows that. But he’s definitely at least half of the group’s impulse control so he’s pushes his own feelings aside in favor of keeping his band, his friends, his _family_ , safe from any further harm.

Alex doesn’t answer him right away. Instead he focuses on a song that’s started up inside, the lyrics filtering out of the doors. “ _C_ _an't help but wondering if this is the last time that I'll see your face. Is it tears or just the fucking rain?_ ” It’s slower than most of what’s been played that evening and the lead singer’s voice is oddly comforting. And then an infectious bassline comes in, instantly reminding him of Reggie, as the chorus starts. “ _No matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back. No matter how long you're gone, I'm always gonna want you back._ ” And when the drums kick in, he finds himself mimicking the pattern across his lap even though he’s never heard the song before.

The words hit a little too close to home and again his thoughts swing around to Willie. To his brilliantly blinding smile, his contagious laugh, the way he always wore crazy socks even with formalwear, his unwavering belief in Alex despite only knowing him for a short period of time. “Shit,” he lets out with a harsh breath.

Nick huffs out a single laugh. “It’s almost midnight. I should head back inside before Carrie calls the cavalry.” Now Alex chokes on a laugh. “You don’t have to go see him, your boy, but I think it might help, even if it’s not in the way you want it to.” He pauses as he maneuvers his wheelchair towards the door, back against it so he can roll himself inside. “Do you want me to get someone for you?”

Alex contemplates a moment, thinking about his plan of action, before shaking his head. “No, I’m good. Just tell someone I’ll be back tonight. And Nick?” He looks up to the other boy. “Thank you.”

Nick offers him a closed-mouth smile and replies “Anytime” before pushing the door open and disappearing into the party.

Alex sits there a minute longer, face in his hands as the song finishes out. “ _Y_ _ou know even when I say I moved on, you know even though I know that you're gone, all I think about is where I went wrong. Yeah, I still dream for you._ ” That decides it for him. If he believed in fate and the universe, which he might honestly be starting to, he’d call this mystery band with an infectious rhythm section a sign. He stands from his seat, psyching himself up for what he’s about to do. He braces himself on the railing before he goes, the pleasant sensation of cold air filling his lungs disarming in a way it has no right to be. Then he’s gone, poofing away from the Wilsons’ and hoping his heart can take whatever is about to happen.

~ ~ ~

He’s never been to Willie’s house before. He realizes this just before he begins his jump and before he can panic, he decides to just focus on his mental image of the boy and hoping that the powers that be get the memo. He ends up outside a modest house in a slightly familiar neighborhood. 

Pink and orange and yellow hibiscus flowers grow in the front yard, the aroma filling the air. Alex surveys the house and the small driveway for signs of life. There seem to be people inside but not anywhere near a party’s worth. There’s a light on on the second floor, coming through the window with a pride flag covering part of it. Alex’s heart leaps up into his throat. _Willie_ , his whole body seems to radiate. Before he can stop himself, he finds that he’s stepping towards the front door, fingertips of one hand just barely phased through when he catches himself. A shaky but determined breath leaves him and he steps all the way through the door.

The inside of the house is warm, golden light filling all the rooms. There are distant voices coming from the direction of what must be the kitchen and dining room. Alex can’t quite believe he’s here as he walks around the living room. Pictures cover absolutely every surface available: the walls, tables, inside a china cabinet in the family room to his right. He bends down to observe them. Most of them feature two girls and a boy, some including people who can only be Willie’s parents. He moves farther down the hall, towards the sound of voices, and notices a beautiful collage of photo frames, a section dedicated to each child.

Amara seems to be the oldest, both a high school and a college graduation photo in her section. There’s a picture with her arm around a boy who must be Willie, a goofy look on both of their faces. A fond smile works its way to Alex’s face. Then, there’s Sasha who has eyes so green, they startle Alex, especially compared to her family’s dark eyes. There’s a photo of her high school graduation and her with a group of people at what looks like an academic convention of sorts. His eyes fall on a group photo of the three kids where they pose like Charlie’s Angels, Willie half a head taller than both of his sisters.

Then there’s Willie’s section. There’s no graduation photo for him as most of the pictures suddenly drop off after his sixteenth birthday photo. It suddenly strikes Alex that Willie is technically twenty now, the realization making him unintentionally step back from the wall. If they’re getting into technicalities, Alex himself should be in his forties, but time is weird for him, for all ghosts who walk the earth. His eyes catch on one last photo, preteen Willie with his arms around a huge, shaggy, gray dog, smile wide and head thrown back mid-laughter, before he forces himself to move on.

He passes by the dining room entrance on his way to the stairs. Inside are five adults having a conversation, two of them he recognizes as Willie’s parents, but the other three are unfamiliar. They speak in a mixture of languages and Alex can only understand the bits that are in English. Neither of Willie’s sisters are there, so he can only assume they must be with their friends or significant others tonight. The clock behind the group reads twelve to midnight and Alex distantly hears a television playing the New Year’s Eve festivities in Times Square.

He moves onwards, up the stairs without pausing to examine more pictures or the little trinkets and knick-knacks the McKay family have collected over the years. There’s only one room that has light seeping from under the door so Alex takes a stabilizing breath before stepping through it.

Willie is facing away from him, not that it matters. Somewhere in the room, classical music plays softly, sweeping, melancholy strings interspersed with delicate piano, heartbreakingly and hauntingly beautiful. Alex moves around the end of the bed so he can see Willie in profile. He’s got his head propped up on his hand, tightly shut eyes set in a pinched face. His hair falls over his shoulder, shining in the dim lighting. He’s not moving save for the occasional tapping of his finger against his temple and the rise and fall of his chest. He kneels in front of Willie, tears already filling his eyes as he tries desperately not to let them fall. Alex hesitates, hand hovering over the other boy’s knee before he gently places it there.

Willie’s eyes flutter open and slowly they move to look at where Alex’s hand rests. Of course, he can’t see that Alex is there, desperately and selfishly wishing he could. In a spur of the moment decision, Alex hums the opening melody to Stand Tall and hopes that Willie has seen the recording of it and that he can hear him. Willie’s eyes open wider, almost comically so, as Alex continues humming. “Alex?” he whispers, a dangerous sort of hope filling his voice.

A watery laugh makes its way out of Alex’s system. He taps two fingers on Willie’s knee as he whispers back, “It’s me.” The touch must be all the confirmation he needs before he’s grabbing up a spiral bound notebook and a red pen, pushing them to the corner of his desk with blatant expectation on his face. Alex concentrates on being solid enough to pick up the pen, the task becoming less and less effortful with practice, and writes a simple _Hi._

Willie’s breath picks up and a quavering laugh falls from him. “Hi,” he says and when Alex turns to look at him, there’s a steady stream of tears falling down his cheeks, the sight dissolving Alex’s resolve not to cry and letting loose the sorrow within him. “How- how are you?”

The concern in his tone startles a small chuckle out of Alex. Of course Willie would worry about him even though he’d been in a coma for four years. _I’m good_ , he writes, hand only shaking a little bit as he does so. _I should be the one asking you, though._

“Never better, hotdog.” And, god, has he missed that stupid nickname. “I haven’t been able to skate, but the docs say I’m on the mend, that I look better than most who have been in my shoes.”

What goes unsaid is that they both know the reason for his speedy recovery lies on the supernatural end of the spectrum. _I’m so glad._ Alex pauses here, unsure if he should just go for it or not. _What the hell are you here for if not this?_ a tiny, frustrated voice says in the back of his mind. He sets the pen to the paper once more, adding _I miss you_ to his previous statement.

A shuddering sob sounds as Willie reads over what he’s written. “Jesus, Alex, I miss you so much.” There’s no stopping the tears at this point but that doesn’t stop the surprise for either of them when one of Alex’s dots the page next to where he had been writing. “I wish I could see you. All of you. It’s not like I can tell my therapist what really happened.”

_I bet Julie would be more than happy to talk to you_ , Alex scribbles out, trying so defeatedly to ignore the first part of that statement, the part they can’t do anything about. He also leaves her address.

“Oh,” Willie says when he notices it. “That’s only a few streets away from here. Maybe my parents will finally let me leave the house.” He laughs in response to Alex’s exasperatedly written _A few streets away????_ and smiles to himself. “Go figure, right?” A lull falls between them, the radio still going in the background until Willie reaches for a tiny remote and turns it off, silence filling the space. “Will you-” he begins, a frown momentarily covering his face. “Will you sing for me?”

Well, that’s not exactly what Alex had expected. Still, he sifts through the songs he knows entirely by heart until he lands on the perfect one. “ _The sun sets longer where I am from, where dreams go to die while having fun. The boys fix their cars and girls eat it up. Loving’s so good when love is young._ ” It’s from an artist that Flynn showed him and he had immediately fallen in love with this particular album of his. Willie’s eyes glance in his general direction when he starts, not quite making it to his face, but it’s close enough for Alex. He notices with a tiny grin when he gets to the chorus that it may be a little applicable to their situation: “ _Have you heard me on the radio? Did you turn it up? On your blown-out stereo in suburbia._ ”

Willie smiles too and before long, he’s gotten through the whole song. Below them, there seems to be a commotion. Glasses clink and voices get a little louder. After he glances at his watch, Willie reports, “It’s a minute to midnight.”

Alex looks away from him, realizing that he should probably head back to the Molinas’ soon. Willie also has a desolate look on his face, toying with the paper Alex had been writing on as his hands shake. Alex doesn’t know what comes over him when he says, **“Can I kiss you?”** even though he can’t be heard. It comes out a little self-indulgently, seeing as it is New Year’s Eve and all.

He’s about to pick up the pen a write one final message saying that he’ll be back but he has to go now when Willie says, “Yes.” Shock at being answered aside, it’s really the implication of the answer that takes Alex’s breath away. He can’t actually do that, nor would he want to toy with Willie like that. There’s a shout up the stairs in a language he doesn’t understand, giving him a moment to collect himself and think of what to do while Willie answers back in that same language. “My auntie is going to bring me up a glass of champagne after the ball drops,” he says, obvious displeasure in his voice.

Alex contemplates a moment more before whispering to himself, “Okay.” He steps back in front of Willie, hands cupping his cheeks. There’s just a second’s delay before Willie slowly and determinedly puts his hands over Alex’s. Downstairs, they start the countdown. “Happy New Year’s, Willie.” As they reach the end, he places a soft kiss on his forehead, eyes falling shut as he does so. He wishes he could do more, but the way that Willie relaxes into him is enough for now.

He pulls away after what seems like an hour and an instant, leaving one final peck before he lets go of Willie’s face. He gives a sullen smile to the boy, even though no one can see it. He really should head back home or he might never leave. All he hears is a faint “Happy New Year’s, Alex” and the sound of the bedroom door creaking open before he’s gone, leaving two semi-broken hearts in his wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is 100% not what the willex stans wanted but I am nothing if not a glutton for pain and the most existential I ever am on NYE. I promise, the next time we see these two boys together, things will be more positive. Thanks for putting up with my lateness. We got a new puppy for Christmas and keeping up with him has been a task and a half. So when I realized Sunday had come and gone, I just decided to wait until NYE to post this and then my mom needed help for dinner and blah blah blah here we are. If you saw the unedited version of this, no you didn't, and if you didn't see the unedited version, what unedited version? Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled programming. I referenced a few songs in this chapter so let me share those with you-
> 
> when Alex and Nick are talking: [Want You Back](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhSXsTSNDyo) by 5 Seconds of Summer  
> what I imagine Willie was listening to when Alex walks into his room: [The Seal Lullaby](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2on4IS8fIcc) by Eric Whitacre (arr. Parkin) _specifically the version performed by the Kanneh-Masons_  
>  the song Alex sings for Willie: [Suburbia](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8kXlBZ1fy0) by Troye Sivan
> 
> As per usual, requests are open from [this list](https://p0ck3tf0x.tumblr.com/post/98502010026/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you) except for 7, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 19, 21, 26, 31, 33, 37, 38, 39, 41, 44, 48, 49, 50, 53, 57, 62, 63, 64, 65, 67, 70, 82, 83, 86, 91, 98, and 99. You can drop a comment here or message me on tumblr. Thank you for your support and your patience. I hope 2021 treats you kindly.
> 
> main: [hi-hello-hey-there](https://hi-hello-hey-there.tumblr.com/)  
> side: [toziers-token](https://toziers-token.tumblr.com/)
> 
> love, blue

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something for the holidays.


End file.
